A real Texas Thunderstorm

     This puppy didn't even get started until after Midnight. I'm located about a mile from the water of the Gulf, and had been hearing about the possibility of "Severe" Thunderstorms all day.  Must have been around 11:45 or so when I stepped out my front door.  Somewhere's after Colbert and the beginning of Meyer's. The thing about down here in Texas is that when something like this is about to happen, seems the air gets heavier.  And there was definitely something like that happenning here.  I looked up at the Moon and noticed the clouds were moving quite fast although from where I was standing, I felt only a slight breeze.     
   
         Meyer's was a rerun so I decided to turn in.  But just as I was about to turn off the lights, I decided to check the Weather app on my phone.  Talk about an Oh shit moment.  As soon as the radar pic came up, it became very obvious this was a huge storm carrying a lot of water. The images, which tend to be mostly Yellow with a Red core signifying the heavier rainfall, a smaller patch usually much smaller than the Yellow surrounding it.  In this instance it was just the opposite.  The Storm was huge and consisted of almost all Red.  From what I could deduce looking at the small screen, the monster seemed to be moving from West to East, leaving the possibility that it might not hit until morning, if at all.  It was at least a hundred miles away at that time.

      I was hoping I might sleep through it, which seems to be a recipe how people die sometimes, but seein's Lisa wasn't here at the moment, I decided I'd just as soon take my chances and sleep.

      And that did not work out well at all.  People who have never been in the South.  Never been to Texas in the Spring.  Never witnessed a thunderstorm here have no idea.  It's like no place I've ever been during a storm before.  I awoke about a half hour after going to bed with a dry mouth thanks to the Benadryl I'd just had. I got up to get  a drink of water and then I heard the far off sound of Thunder.  

       That Thundering seemed to travel a mile a minute as each subsequent sound became louder.  And I'd give it no more than ten minutes and it was upon me, everybody around me.  First the far off flash of lightning that seemed to be getting brighter with each boom until both were occurring continuously.  As if someone outside were bangng one of those loud gongs and running an arc welder simutaneously.  No, I'm lying.  Compound that by a hundred and then throw a semi load of small ice balls in.  Along with a wind that went from a breeze to about sixty miles per hour.  Think of that scene in War of the Worlds, the explosive flashing reflected through the window.  

   The lights tended to blink some after the loudest booms and I decided to turn on the television while also checking the weather app.  Both indicated we were receiving our second Tornado warning of the night.  That's one of those minutes where you're glad your wife is out of harms way, visiting our daughter in Nevada, but at the same time thinking it really does suck to be alone right now.   

      So for the next half hour or so I watched the warnings scroll along the bottom of the screen telling me to take shelter in a substantial structure.  I looked around, hell the 5th wheel was more substantial than the one we were in last year. 

    Then the scrolling words across the bottom of the screen said, "if you are in an RV or mobile home, leave now and seek shelter".  I sat back in my chair, listened to the hammering hail on the roof and decided that particular action was not likely to occur either.

     After about a half hour or so of sitting being pleasantly  surprised that my buttocks contained muscles that I could squeeze whenever I wanted, the words at the bottom of my tv screen said, "Storm is weakening, go to bed"  or thats what I thought I read in my Benedryl and Wine slightly affected mind.  So I did, and just as I remember drifting off to sleep, I heard in the distance, booming, not in the direction the sound had gone, but where it came from.  And then I just dropped off to sleep.

    So, it had a statistically significant happy ending anyhow.  Because there really isn't all that good a chance I'd find myself in the center of an F one through three Tornado, spinning wildly. Which from my childhood, would likely prompt me to start saying stupid and ridiculous words just to hear what they sounded like while one was spinning, oh yeah wildly.

      Anyway, two Tornado's did strike within twenty miles from here, relieving a couple of houses of their just rebuilt Harvey roofs, as the news put it.

       And I was asked again why I moved to Texas, because today was gorgeous, and the after storm nighttime sounds of the bullfrogs and Cicada's is really the stuff of movies. 

     But damn those Tornado's.