Monday, February 5, 2018. The Monday after Super Bowl

    Tough Night.  Mostly for gastrointestinal reasons.  Ate the equivalent of two or more meals last night. Hangovers used to be becuz of reasons I consumed somewhere North of a case of Beer.  Anyways.

Can't decide which is worse.  Each have their more unique aspects.  I'm kinda leaning towards too much Food being a little less irksome than Alcohol. Thats what I thought before Noon.

Anyway, did not set well.  Mostly the Hot Wings I suppose, intermixed with the Super Pizza and Super Bowl.  Hard to distinguish which was more exciting.  These nights always leave Lisa a bit miffed as she is a snuggler, and constantly tells me I have amazing skin.  If only my "all the time fragrance" was just as amazing.  And I say: Everything has it's downside".

    Juan and Carisa were going to come over last night.  But Lisa called me during my bi-weekly, once weekly, and sometimes more than once weekly gym visit and told me he'd canceled.  These are young people who I question why they'd want to party, Super Bowl wise,  with folks twice their age anyhow.  Turns out they didn't.

     So after my early rising, near round Ten, and while recuperating from a gastrointestinal hangover, Lisa, who's been up several hours already,  proudly proclaims "I'm registered" as she taps the keys furiously on her brand spanking new Computer, simultaneously "slut shaming" various politicians she's been looking up.  Probably doesn't help that I completely support her in these efforts.

    Anywhooo, my mind is going "registered" damn I'd best be looking that up.  I'd sent in the Card I'd gotten in the mail a couple of weeks ago,  signed the wrong side, scratched that out and signed the front. Deducing from the microscopic print of which I could only discern every fifth or so word,  that, that was the right thing to do.

But living in Texas the last five years, if it didn't teach me one thing, it's don't trust DMV first.  And second, any of the other Bureaucracies in Texas either.

 So, just on the side of caution I reasoned, best check this out.  "When's the last day I asked Lisa?"  "Today," she said.  And in my mind:

"Fuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh", wait this wasn't so hard last I checked it out. 

 So I fired up my old and not so new Computer,  takes a bit longer.    Didn't take long to find the right website and punch in my information.  And sez not only am I not registered, no record of me exists.  The first response is Outrage, second is meh, easily fixed.

 But then the website offers alternative searches from punching in more info.  Aha! Nope.  This one? Nope. Any of em? Nope!

 Finally, I decide to call, which is a big decision considering I have to drive a mile or so to get service.      Armed with a fresh hot cup of Coffee I bravely face the Fog that is one of the bennies of living here.  I  Hop in the Silverado and head to a gas station that seems to be the stopping point of everybody without service where they live.  Which seems to be everywhere within a three-mile radius, particularly when there's Fog about. Three other vehicles were already there as I arrive, the drivers busy with cell phones held to their head.

   So  I'm the cheerful sort.  I subscribe to the philosophy that Honey works better than Vinegar.  Take a sip of the oh so strong Coffee I make, and I call the County Tax Office I'm registered in.  

I describe my plight to the cheerful clerk, who cheerfully answers the phone and, cheerfully tells me she needs to do a bit of research.  I say fine, and she disconnects about five minutes or so, then gets back on the line and says, "nears I can tell you've been removed cuz you are deceased" she says, cheerfully.  I say " No I'm not".  Well, she says, you must be unless you want to call the United States Postal Service a Liar".  No, all I'm saying is I'm not dead", I say.   "Well (a little snippy now), you'll have to call back in about 30 minutes and talk with the person who handles this".  "That is not my department".  In my mind I think "Supervisor"!  AUGGGHHH as Claxon alarms go off in my head. I should have deducted that from the very first moment someone picked up the phone.  These people are all powerful.  I could be froze out forever! These were dangerous waters I was swimming in.  I instinctively drop into survival mode.  "Honey not Vinegar", "Honey not Vinegar", Clerks are friends not the mean Stepmom I never had. "Thank you, I'll call back ."

Well as it turned out I was listed accidentally as dead.  And the helpful Clerk told me she reversed it.  But in an ironic ending, she told me I'd done something wrong with the Card by mailing it back.  That even though it said to return it, that was the wrong thing to do. In fact, I wasn't supposed to do anything with the Card. I should have known that. K, I said.

 Though that had nothing to do with me falsely being listed as deceased.

   And that's the way it was, Monday after Super Bowl, February 5, 2018.
  2018.

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